I host a DnD campaign by myself, by talking to the voices in my head (Paranoid Schizophrenia). It’s a homebrew multiverse replete with an Emulated Earth. The voices’ll even visit the Realms or Ravenloft sometime in the coming weeks. I am that kind of DM.
It’s therapeutic of me to talk to myself in this curious way. I’m less afriad and have even passed some school work over the winter months and am back in University doing well and keeping out of hospital. I laugh often to myself, but never in fear. I mediate on art, theorize about life, and receive updates from my brain which I call data or intelligence.
I am hearing conditional data recently. Everything is conditional. This meta is evolving.
I wonder what this all means. What might this foretell?
I think the meta is changing. Clinical Psychopathology started but is quickly evolving into a lawsuit meta.
I know nothing of these fields and laugh a little. Nobody has sued me. I remain a Paranoid Schizophrenic.
If telepathy was synthetic, the way it is in my mind, it would be conditional upon release of data and update sometimes, if conditions are met.
Why, I wonder, would my brain come up with this peculiar talent?
Certainly I should write a little bit about how my mind thinks it is telepathic. Never disregard that I am ill.
Oh boy. I’m in a pickle. For I am not a physicist, nor a clinical psychopathologist. Nor am I a detective studying the scene of a crime.
I am an undergraduate in literature writing a book or two, and quite possibly, struggling to read.
What will happen if my conditions include a relapse? Who will take care of mummy and uncle papi.
I am a-poor, a-now, and a make-shift caregiver. And my neologisms ain’t even understood.
I wish my theory on synthetic telepathy was influential. I could have wrote Conditional Relapse If I was right in the mind. It’s extraordinarily difficult at times to concentrate and read and write.
But: I condition myself already. Do others think like me?
“To Arms! For Art’s Sake!”
If you’re studying me remotely I’d like an email or phone call. Touch base with me please. Otherwise I am paranoid and think you a terrorist. [email protected] 647 986 6324 Steve Mini.
Now nobody calls me. boo-hoo. Therefore I shall remain ill for life, read very little, and try to write. I’m a theorist, really, and a concept artist. But my theories and concepts, littered with neologisms and paranoia, seem to be of little value. Therefore poor.
Such was my condition when I began to wrote.
To be edited.
Conditional freedom does exist. I learned of it during my time as a dominant person in the kink community. I often wanted submissive women to submit to me. I would joke: “Prisoner, surrender your arms and be a criminal no more.” And use handcuffs and props.
I realized that I place a premium on obtaining pleasure: I’m a Hedonist. And my own pleasure came before those of the women I partnered with. This interesting hierarchy was agreed to, in fact welcomed. They begged me to be their Master, for them to be my slave. But why? I’ve thought long on this. And enjoyed many a woman.
This all started because I broke up with my girlfriend sometime after highschool, during university. We never married and never had any children. I never looked back and never settled down ever again.
I would often burn bridges. A few years later, I was caught up in a tryst. I told this girlfriend that she was fat. She cried and broke up with me. I needed her to hate me. She did so. I left. I would like to apologize now, if you’re out there. I didn’t mean to break your heart like that. I tend to shy away from commitments and remain logically free, though theoretically opposed.
I theorize about this stuff. I wish I could tell you a dozen names. But I don’t even remember any. If you’re out there and you remember me, touch base.
I’m still a bit of an idiot with some macho bravado crap going. But curiously, I’m not good looking, and I ain’t rich. Heck, I call myself Mini, after my keepsake. I ain’t even big. So what’s the deal? Why me at all?
These days, I’m gravitating more and more towards Asexuality and not even sleeping with women at all. Ever since the ‘rona hit, I haven’t even bothered.
I’ll always be straight, but I’m a little older now. Maybe it’s time to spend my time writing instead of chasing the ladies. But if you’re out there, and don’t mind a tryst, then surrender, prisoner. once a week, that is. Leave me alone the rest of the time. I’m retired.
647 986 6324
One curious thing about hearing voices is that you become accostomed to being opposed.
Heck, I even wrote an opposition theory about it.
In fact, in real life, nobody is really opposed to me at all! Everybody is fairly supportive, I would think.
But In my mind, I think that people wouldn’t be supportive of me.
I suppose there are four positions that I frequent in my mind.
I am God / Not Opposed
I am God / Opposed
I am Not God / Not Opposed
I am Not God / Opposed
Is whatever I think opposed? I suppose I’ll always create art, even when it is opposed..
Which brings me to my next fallacy I suppose: Hedonism and Kink.
Read the next post.
I’ve created a volatility index for the voices in my head. (Data updates me and voices talk to me – I’m a diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic).
I bet it would work in real life, too. There are either GOOD or EVIL people; or NEUTRAL people who support both GOOD or EVIL at times, but remain NEUTRAL.
The voices have come to call me Neutral G. (“Neutral God”).
anyway, if the world EVER falls into darkness and swings towards evil, Good people sell and Evil people buy an in. And vice versa.
Morality should be measured, traded, bought and sold in real life, and your alignment could be a secret if you prefer.
I’m probably off by a mile, but we’ll get there.
To Arms! For Art’s Sake!” -Steve Mini, Neutral G.
HOW TO MEASURE EVIL?
First of all, we only measure evil by greed. Those who want to obtain wealth, are necessarily Evil. Because they will place obtaining wealth above every other good deed or action or commodity.
A contract killer and a billionaire who wants to earn another billion are both equally evil.
People are necessarily born Good, but become evil by choice or circumstance.
Don’t at me, I can’t script and i’m broke.
Steve Mini, Philosopher-Artist-Theorist-Undergraduate, English Lit.
Good people value time over wealth, and will spend all their time supporting others and spend time creating and constructing or supporting art, or the sciences. They are able to place another’s wealth ahead of their own agenda. Good people have a huge say. Leaders in a position of power who work for the public good who you might think are evil, are actually considered good. Why? Because they spend all their time supporting others. If they value obtaining wealth above all else, then they are considered evil.
Just who is Neutral, then? I think this needs to be updated but I’ll take a stab at it. When you have enough wealth to subsist, do you become neutral, since you have time and no longer need to work, but choose to do so at times anyway? This choice, not born out of necessity or greed, seems to be characteristic of neutral people, unless I’m mistaken.
Yes to the Volatility Index.
It would appear that wealth plays a prominent role in people’s life and decisions. More than anything else. Why isn’t this absolutely measured? People who don’t have enough money die in certain countries. Does that make them evil by necessity? Or good by birth?
I worry about these things. I would hope to be neutral, neither good or evil.
an anonymous bidder bought all my art for an undisclosed amount more than a billion dollars, and requested all my thoughts to be digital signatures in his wallet.
I never recieved a penny or a phone-call. Who is this anonymous billionaire contacting me remotely?
your data signatures are ready, sir (said the telepathic mutant/paranoid schizophrenic).
I am ill therefore.
Below the poverty-line,
I’ve resolved two positions in theory. which took me a long time to think about and theorize about – just with my mind. I think a better equipped, more educated person, well versed in the law, and in ethics, might have been in a better position to theorize about morality and ethics and logic.
I suppose that my solutions are paradoxical and i’ve developed an infinite loop theory. I’m inspired by programming and video games where the solution is often unethical, but resolvable with the right data.
The G-d paradox
and The Prisoner Loop.
In the God Paradox, I ask the voices in my head to accept that I am G-d. They either accept all parameters, or else I am not g-d at all. We move to the next solution.
A prisoner warns me: “please release the prisoner.” Am I that prisoner in the future, asking myself in the past, present or future to release myself? This one question to you. For, certainly I am inept. Is it an infinite loop where prison is inevitable?
Am I conditioned to be a prisoner in my own mind? Is the solution metaphorical?
Pretty basic stuff here. I wonder why I get caught up in the God / Opposed position that often. Once you design it, it’s rather simple to just be opposed and create art. Why not be in the Not God / Opposed position more often? I think all this data is humorous.
Delight me with another word equation, which is a neologism. For I am very ill. (I said this to nobody but myself and shall probably receive several replies).
I hear voices. I frequently play through WW3 scenarios a telepathic mutant. All this creativity is wasted on somebody who hasn’t ever published yet. Will any of this data shore up into a profitable career? I live off 10k / year.
Many people are supportive of the fact that I can play dungeons and dragons by myself, by DMing a never-ending campaign with the voices in my head as the characters and players.
I even started writing how Synthetic Telepathy might work, and a hacker’s manifesto. I have no programming language knowledge or coding skills.
But how am I self-scripted? Unusual. Let’s investigate this week and see.
See you on the ladder, summoners.