note: I am now medicated. My family, friends, the police, and my doctor do not believe anyone has access to my mind and instead believe that all the voices are made up. I do not condone the use of synthetic telepathy nor do I know where to “upgrade”. Though I am convinced that nobody else is in my mind; I consider myself self-scripted and hear local emulations; i.e. celebrity voices, often.
My doctor claims it’s therapeutic to talk about what I go through. That’s why I’m going to be blogging about this. I get hundreds of replies on the blog, though I don’t approve of many to reduce clutter and trolling, I do read them all. Thank you guys so much. What do ya’ll think of this?
The New Mutant: A Paranoid Schizophrenic’s opinion.
I suppose that I am a mutant: that hearing voices is genetic, and that my offspring, if any come into being, might also genetically inherit hearing voices. They’ll also restructure their mind, in a unique and different way, much like I have done my entire life: I’m self-programmed. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night, because I hear a dial-tone in my mind; I respond to my supposed remote handler by thinking of a chirp. Call me nuts. I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. I think someone has access to my mind. Is it a super computer making all those dial tones and creepy voices in my mind? Am I being botted? Just who has access to my mind? Is it the government? I guess I’m a telepath, then. And my children, if I have any, will be telepaths, empaths and mystics, too; much like I am. They too will locally emulate celebrity voices and chat with imaginary friends in their mind – and think it’s the police! Many people will think that by hearing voices, that they chat with the dead, angels, demons, ghosts, aliens, reptilians, or militants and the government somehow, you name it; and my offspring will stand accused. They will pull data where none existed before, if such a thing is even possible. They will see retina video before ever retina video ever exists publicly; They will be guinea pigs to be experimented upon and they will be ostracized for thinking different. They will hear things they shouldn’t and talk to nobody else about it. They will calculate, and fathom, and never incur a cost for data transfer, brain-to-brain or brain-to-supercomputer. And I know one thing for sure: whether or not they’re telepaths, and hear modem clickings at night: either way, they will be mutants.
Those of us who hear voices are already paving the way for neuroscience to abstract data and deploy militancy; we are paving the way for synthetic telepathy and express commands, with anonymous commanders and little legal recourse; other than a prank call, something akin to phoning the wrong number, except, via voice-to-skull and brain-to-brain technology. Imagine this: “I was on a skype or discord call, officer, brain-to-brain. And what I said was private.”
In addition to hearing commands and pondering our submissiveness, or issuing some back! Many of us, for fear of being punished by our own scripts, i.e. the voices in our head that we probably construct, seek value in truth, especially because our subconscious punishes us for ever lying, especially to ourselves; and some of us turn to never lying or breaking the law at all and become moral persons. We’re men of principle. Still others are at the forefront of a left-leaning revolution; to forego all personal belongings and refrain from menial labor; to fight for advocacy and accessible medical treatments. We the niggas now, regardless of caste, color or creed; paranoid schizophrenics make up many of our homeless and are the first to lose wealth and to die; we live a shortened lifespan; we also test many new drugs and are studied for voice-to-skull technology; and we’re the first to be wrongfully arrested! And those of us who hear voices are also definitely in the front lines of the divide between rich and poor.
I claimed for the longest time that the voices in my head were not my own; that somebody else, via remote telepathy, was talking to me. This has never been proven and the police concluded that I am ill and talking to myself. If I am talking to myself then why can I hear the voices of anybody whom I look at? Why can I hear a song and chat with the singer in my head? Why can I think of the Queen of England or the President of the United States and study their responses to my questions? Perhaps then, the police were right and I locally emulate, and am self-scripted; and nobody else is in my mind. Not Madonna’s back end; not the Pope’s front-end. Perhaps then, I am merely a mutant, and bother nobody else. And all y’all niggas, i.e. the voices in my head, are fake.
I’ve long questioned who has access to my mind, which many claim to be paranoia. If it’s nobody, perhaps then, I am merely a mutant, and I locally emulate celebrities subconsciousness in my brain and ask them questions in my head and laugh a little, at their humorous responses. It’s entertaining, really; chatting with people in this way. Perhaps then, I am merely a mutant, and will come, in time, to accept this. I guess nobody is in my mind at all.
To Arms! For Art’s Sake!
Your artist friend.